Just Have to Tell Her
by wulfgrl58
Summary: Cat's devastated after her brother finally snaps, and Jade is there to pick up the pieces. If only she had enough courage to tell her how she felt? Can the Ice Queen melt? CADE oneshot.


When you go to performing arts school, you are constantly surrounded by sound. In addition to the normal high school noises of students chattering, lockers slamming, and cell phone ringing, you have musical instruments, singing, and the raised tones only used when rehearsing lines. It's oppressive. Combine that with the glare of instruments flashing, colorful eccentric clothing and brightly painted lockers, and I am nearly overwhelmed every time I walk through the front doors, despite it being my third year there. But among all the swirling sounds and colors, there is one voice and sight I don't mind as much as everything else, one person who keeps me from being swallowed whole, who keeps me grounded when all I want to do is drift away in a sea of noise and color.

"Jade!" that is my only warning before a small, warm body slams into me, wrapping thin arms around my waist and burying her head in my shoulder, all the while giggling like a maniac. The scent of vanilla overwhelms my senses, blocking out the stifling noises and sights of a Hollywood Arts hallway ten minutes before school starts. I stagger backwards into my locker, my right ear narrowly missing one of the many scissors plastered to its front.

"Cat, what are you doing?" I respond flatly, arms hanging limp by my side. Cat has known me a long time and has no excuse not remembering one of my Ten Commandments: Thou Shalt Not Hug Jade. It's right after Thou Shalt Not Expect Jade To Resemble Normality Before She Has Had Her Morning Coffee, and before Thou Shalt Not Tickle Jade. Cat lifts her head from my shoulder, tilting her head to the side as she contemplates.

"Hugging you, silly!" She says, brown eyes flashing with never-ending energy. God, this girl is going to be the end of me.

"Cat, can you please get off of me, people are starting to stare" I say, gently pushing her back. Reluctantly she lets go, and I turn away from the exuberant redhead, opening my locker and grabbing my books as the bell chimes, sounding the two-minute warning. "Come on, it's time for class."

The day proceeds like it does every day, with everything proceeding as planned and expected, except of course for Sikowitz's class, but its unpredictability is, in and of itself, predictable. The monotony is stifling, and I can't wait for the school day to end so I can go home to the black walls of my bedroom, and try to not think of how it will all repeat tomorrow. The last bell rings, and I rush to shove my unneeded books in my locker and leave the walls causing me so much anxiety. When I reach my car, I'm surprised to find Cat leaning against the passenger's side door, smile plastered to her face as always, but I detect its more for show than usual, behind her chocolate brown eyes I see the tiniest hint of sadness. As I approach her, I see her straighten her posture, and she brushes a strand of hair behind her ear, perfecting the image.

"What's up Cat, need a ride home?" I ask, looking at her over the top of the black coup as pause at my driver's side door. There it is, that darkness in her eyes that went away when she noticed me.

"Actually," she says, brushing her hair over her ear again, "my mom just texted me and told me to go to a friend's house for the night, something happened with my brother and I can't come home. Can I stay with you tonight?" As much as I see her fighting it, the picture-perfect Cat is cracking, revealing someone who has bigger problems than only having the pink unicorn Pillow Pet and not the purple one as well. While another one of my Ten Commandments is Thou Shalt Not Come Over To Jade's House, this one I have no problem ignoring.

"No problem, hop in" I reply, unlocking the car and sliding in.

The ride to my house is fairly quiet. The radio is playing, but Cat isn't talking, or singing along. She just sits in the passenger seat like a normal person, and it worries me. When I asked her if she wanted to swing by her house to get some overnight things, she simply shook her head, saying her mom told her she couldn't come by the house at all until tomorrow after school. When we reached my house, she immediately went up to my room, not even asking where it was. After three years of friendship, she knew where my room was, even if she'd never been to it. We had had enough video chats online that she knew what it pretty much looked like too, so when she walked in she immediately went to the deep red plush armchair directly across from the doorway, dropping her bag next to it as she sat, bringing her knees up so they were pressed into her chest, chin resting on their tops. I follow her silently, and when she takes the chair I debate between my desk chair to the right and my queen bed to the left. Taking the Jade route, I drag the small table next to Cat's chair out so I can sit next to her left knee. Here, in the safety and security of my room, I can shed my cold, hard exterior and just, be. I feel no pressure to maintain the image I have at Hollywood Arts, and I can see that same pressure lessening on Cat as she lets her inner darkness come seeping out, staining her bright exterior with her angst. Taking her hand in mine, I softly, almost in a whisper, ask what's wrong.

"It's my brother, he had a psychotic break or something, he burned half of our neighbor's house down and then ran off, the cops found him about to jump off a building. They managed to get him down, but he's in big trouble. That's why I can't go home, my parents are at the police station right now trying to help him and I don't know what to do or how to help or…" it comes out calm at first, but at she continues tears start streaming down her rosy cheeks, and all I can do is stand up and move next to her, wrapping my arm around her thin shoulders as she trails off, sobbing gently against my shoulder. Odd to think that this morning she was smiling against my shoulder, and now its soaked in her tears. I feel a little awkward, people don't exactly come to me for comfort, but I figure if I was in her situation I would want the person I was talking with to just shut up and let me cry on them, so I do just that. After a few minutes the sobs turn into sniffles, and then Cat is looking up at me, and I see her in a whole new light. For the first time, I think I'm seeing the real Cat, not the bubble gum version she plays at school. She is an actress after all. And this Cat, the real Cat, is making me feel things I haven't felt since the first day I laid eyes on Beck freshman year at Hollywood Arts, a feeling I had long forgotten, especially since our break up six weeks ago. But this is different, with Beck it was like he was protecting me from the world, while simultaneously protecting the world from me, from my wrath. Looking into her eyes, I feel the overwhelming need to protect her, and unlike the walls of Hollywood Arts, this feeling causes me no anxiety, just a calm sense of purpose. I needed to protect Cat, from her brother, from the kids at school who called her stupid behind her back, from the teachers who never took her seriously unless she was acting or singing, from all of it. And looking at Cat, I saw her need to be protected. She used her innocent persona as a shield, much like how I used mine, but that shield was lowering, slowly. And God did she look beautiful. As she licked the tears from her lips I couldn't help but to imagine the taste, and my cheeks grew hot as a realized what I was thinking about. I stood up, arms falling to my sides as I moved to my desk chair. "Feeling better?" I ask as she wipes her eyes on a sleeve. She nods.

"Thank you Jade, that was exactly what I needed, it feels good to just cry about it." I let out a small grin as an idea pops in to my head.

"Know what will make you feel even better?" I ask. Cat shakes her head, red velvet locks swaying, looking so soft and silky I just want to tangle my hands in them. Woah, West, calm down there. Focus. My grin widens a bit. "Pizza and ice cream for dinner." At that she lights up, almost back to her old self as she claps her hands in excitement. "Yay pizza and ice cream!"

Hours later, and we are lying on my couch in the living room watching some ridiculous cartoon about possessive ponies that may or may not be on LSD, Cat lying with her head in my lap, my hand is stroking her velvet hair gently, and I can't think of anything else I'd rather be doing. In the safety of my empty house, we feel no pressure to be that which we aren't, and it's so freeing. But deep down I can feel fear making its way to the surface. I'm not supposed to feel this way about a girl, its wrong, or so people say. But sitting here, it doesn't feel wrong. I'm not getting that buzz in my veins that I get when I do something I know is wrong. I just feel, content, at peace with the world, besides that little nagging voice wondering, doubting.

Cat sits up, and I look up, the credits are rolling, the episode is over. The cable box says its 11:30. Shit, we have to wake up in seven hours, that's not a lot of time for sleeping. The redhead looks at me, a small smile playing across her face.

"Thank you for this, Jade, it means a lot that you would do all this for me" she says, and I'm drawn at first to her eyes, but then down to her lips, again wondering what they taste like.

"No problem kiddo, that's what friends are for aren't they?" and as the word "friends" leaves my mouth I see a glimmer of sadness. Why would she be sad that we're friends? Jade West never admits that she has friends, she should feel honored. But I ignore it, choosing instead to focus on what is most important: sleep. "Come on, it's time to get ready for bed, you're staying with me in my room, I'll give you some pajamas" and without waiting to see her reaction I get up and go to my room, and Cat silently follows.

Trying to sleep that night was, stressful, to say the least. I was hyper-aware of every movement Cat made,

To be frank, I was terrified. What if I ruined our friendship? As much as I wanted Cat as my, girlfriend, lover, partner? As my MORE. As much as I wanted this MORE thing, if that meant losing my best friend it was too high a price to pay. How many relationships make it past high school, how many friendships remain after a break up? But then again, how many friendships survive past high school too? What if we go to different colleges, and get so caught up in our new lives that we lose each other then? Then I would have no best friend, and no idea what could have been. I had to take that risk.

That night, after hours of thinking and debating and analyzing the situation from every angle, I realized I had to stop being Cold Queen of Darkness Jade, and start being Jade Who Has Feelings. I ran down the stairs, forgoing a jacket even though it was pouring down rain, and ran to my car.

On the way to Cat's house I must have run several yellow lights and stop signs, I'm pretty sure I also never used a turn signal, but it didn't matter. I had to tell her how I felt. My car screeched to a stop in front of her modest two-story home, noting the Tyvek-covered house next door, the one her brother must have burned down. I sent her a quick text, telling her to look out her window. I saw the light in her room turn on, and her face appeared in the upstairs window. I got out of the car, waving to her and signaling her to come down. Her face disappeared, and after a minute or so the porch light came on, and she ran out to greet me in the rain, a confused look on her face.

"Cat, I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time, and I just have to say it" the rain pouring over us, wet hair plastered to our faces, and I was cold, and wet and shivering, but I wouldn't rather be anywhere else if it meant not being with her. I bring my hand up to cup her cheek as I move closer, and her eyes are bright like she's crying, but her tears run together with the rain. "I'm so scared, and I don't want to ruin our friendship, you mean so much to me and I just have to let you know"

"Know what?" she manages to get out, voice shuddering with a combination of cold and fear, most likely.

"That I think about you the way a best friend shouldn't, that when you come home from dates all smiles I want to scream at you that I'm right here, that I should be the one making you smile like that. I want to be the one to take you on dates and hold hands and kiss in the rain and buy you flowers and chocolates and all that mushy crap that I hate so goddamn much. The reason I hate it is because I only want to do them with you, Cat, only you" and at that Cat is stock still, her only movement being her shivering.

"Please say something?" and at this point I'm crying too, soft gentle tears carving warm paths through the rain water.

"Well, we can do one of those things right now" she says, chocolate eyes deep and warm and all I want to do is melt into them.

"What's that?" I ask, and I'm terrified at the answer. Cat takes another step closer to me, her hand going up to my cheek, mimicking mine that had yet to move.

"Kiss in the rain" she whispers, so softly I almost don't hear it, and her hand moves to grab the back of my neck as she brings my face down to meet hers and then it's all softness and warmth and sweetness as our lips meet, arms tangling in each other as I wrap my free one around her shoulders and she tangles hers in my long dark hair, trying to get as close as possible. It is, hands down, the best kiss I have ever had in my life, straight out of a fucking romantic comedy. The kiss seems to last forever, and that's how I want it to be, never-ending, but eventually we need air and then we separate just enough to breathe and then we are gasping in each other's faces, and I swear to God Cat has never looked so beautiful in my life.

"Do you know how long I've been waiting to do that?" she asks, breath still short after that mind-blowing kiss. At that, I give my signature smirk, and lean down so my lips are hovering right by hers.

" Not nearly as long as I have" and then we're kissing again.


End file.
